The Beginning....

So I met lover boy just about 12 years ago and I used to have a big crush on him but was too scared to approach him. So years went by before I really saw him again, so when I did see him of course he was still very attractive to me, he asked for my number so I gave it to him. We didn't start talking then though but we did run into each other again and this time we actually talked actually chilled together started liking one another, but we didn't stay in contact for long. So this process went on for years and we never kept in touch the reason is a whole other blog that I may not even touch on. So about a year and a half ago we got back in touch. I had a boyfriend so it started as friends and he knew about my boyfriend but we weren't talking like that anyway, but of course there was an attraction there. As we continued talking there started to be a connection between us, we would talk for hours about any and everything and even when we had nothing to talk about, it didn't matter because we were together. We found out that for us to be so much different then each other we had so much in common it was crazy. By this time me and my boyfriend had broken up and me and lover boy still talked, but my ex was never out the picture and we ended up getting back together. Somewhere along this process of breaking up and making up and talking and what not, I started falling for lover boy but I never stopped loving my boyfriend. Now I'm in deep, my feelings are rooted for my boyfriend and also for lover boy. It all gets worse because lover boy doesn't know that I'm back with my ex and I don't know what I wanna do, do I tell him the truth. I'm afraid that if I do that he will never talk to me again, and never forgive me and I love him dearly I just couldn't deal with that. I don't know, any suggestions feel free to comment.